3 BIG Reasons Why Realtors Snub You (and how to fix it)

I coach a lot of mortgage originators and one of the biggest frustrations I hear about is not getting any referrals after what appears to be a great appointment.

You meet up with an agent, they’re very friendly, the conversation seems to go well – they even tell you that they’ll send you a deal when it comes up.

But you never hear from them again.

The question is: why does this happen?  And more importantly, how can you change the outcome so you get the referrals?

First, business transactions occur when the “know, like and trust” factor is achieved;   if you haven’t satisfied the “know, like and trust” factor, then you’re going to get really frustrated really quickly.

These are outlined in great detail in the three bonus videos that follow the Free Report download on the home page, so go there and get your free report and pay close attention to those videos if you haven’t already done so.

In this scenario, obviously they know you: they’re at an appointment with you.

Which means they either don’t like you or don’t trust you.  You MUST satisfy all three points in order for an agent to send you a referral.

So let’s look more closely at why agents are snubbing you.

Reason # 1: You talk too much.

This might sound harsh but it’s true.

If you spend the entire appointment talking about yourself and how good you are and how great your rates and loan programs are, you’re going to turn people off fast.

Simply put, they’re not going to like you.

I see this a lot with sales people in general.  For some it’s nervousness and others it’s arrogance and others are just completely unaware.

How to fix it: ask lots of questions and shut your mouth and let the agent talk.  Rule of thumb – apply the two thirds/one third rule – they should talk two thirds of the time and you about one third.   Less is more in this case!

I like to say be interested, not interesting.  Ask lots of questions and be intentional about building rapport and trying to find common ground to establish a connection.

Reason # 2: They don’t trust you.

Why?  A myriad of reasons.  The biggest question they’re asking themselves in your appointment is: is this person going to make me look good?

You MUST satisfy that concern.  And it’s tricky because the agent is never going to come out and voice that concern.

So you have to convince them that you know how to a) execute a deal well and b) look good while doing it.

The execution part is tricky because they’re never going to really know how well you execute until they’re in a deal with you.  But the best way I’ve found to overcome this concern upfront is by using the golden phrase.

The golden phrase served me better than anything that ever came out of my mouth when I met realtors for the first time.  You can learn about this in detail when you download the Free Report.

Part B is looking good.  How do you look good?  Let’s start with your appearance.  Hair, breath, fingernails, clothes, presentation material – all of these things need to be in pristine order when meeting with a new agent.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in flip flops and a t-shirt in southern California or suit and tie in New York.  You should look sharp.  Pay attention to details.

Next we can circle back to your communication skills.  If you talk too much and don’t listen, there’s no way an agent is ever going to let you blab all over one of their clients. Slow down, ask questions, articulate, smile.

Finally in this category of looking good, a little bit of charisma can go a long way.  This goes back to communication and asking great questions to find common ground.

Add to that a friendly smile, and most importantly – a genuine interest in the agent and what comes out of their mouth.  Keep your focus entirely on the agent; don’t be distracted by other people, your phone, or your watch.

And don’t be bored.  Only boring people get bored.  You’re meeting a person for the very first time; there should be plenty to talk about.

Reason # 3: You didn’t qualify the agent. 

This one is a no brainer.  You need to qualify your prospect to ensure they’re capable of sending you the business you desire.

Here are the questions you need to ask:

  • What % of their business are buyers?
  • Do their buyers generally need mortgages or are they dealing in all cash?
  • Are the buyers traditional U.S. born buyers or are they foreign national?
  • How much volume are they doing and how many buyers are they servicing each month?
  • Are they working with other mortgage companies and if yes, are they willing to give you a shot?
  • What do they expect most from their lender?

These are the critical qualifying questions that MUST get answered.  All but the last 2 should be learned prior to meeting with them face to face to ensure you’re not wasting your time.

There are a handful of other reasons why agents pass you over after you’ve met with them, but they are outliers.  If you overcome these three roadblocks outlined above, you’re conversion rates for receiving referrals will skyrocket.

Here’s the good news: if you’re getting appointments with agents, you’ve done the hardest part.  If an agent agrees to meet with you that is an open door.  Which means if you’re not getting referrals, it’s more than likely because of you, not the agent.

So take a good hard look in the mirror and think about what is about you and/or your presentations that are giving agents “the willies,” and use the information in this article to put them on a “safe island” and feel comfortable sending buyers your way.

Leave A Reply (1 comment so far)


  1. brandon wheatley
    4 years ago

    hello, interested in learning more about your product. You can email or call. 513-703-9855

Get Your FREE REPORT: Referral Source Mastery