Kids don’t give a f*ck & neither should you

Have you ever observed a child?  I mean really stopped and considered how a child moves through the day?

It’s mind-blowing.

Children play their way throughout the day, from the moment their eyes open to the moment they shut them at night.

They sing.  They dance.  They run.  They laugh.  They rest when they need to rest.  And most of all, perhaps, they make requests.  They persist.  They get what they want, most of the time.

They do it all without consideration of how their actions impact anyone around them.

In short, children get everything they ever wanted because they don’t give a f*ck.

That’s right.  They don’t give a f*ck.

Do they care what others think about them?  Not for a millisecond.

Are they worried about looking foolish or being judged?  On the contrary – the more outrageous they are, the more fun they have.

Do they slink away from rejection?  Hardly.  They simply repeat their request until it is honored or a sufficient compromise will do.

And let’s be clear: it’s not that kids don’t care about things or people in general – it’s that they don’t give a f*ck about what others think that make them so powerful.

People who don’t give a f*ck make bold requests until they get what they want, and then they change the world.

The 3 Fears That Stop You From Taking Action

  1. The fear of looking bad.  It’s said that people fear public speaking more than they fear death.  In other words, they’d rather be in a pine box six feet underground than feel the judgment of others.  The fear of looking bad – or being embarrassed – is a powerful force that stops most from taking action.
  2. The fear of rejection.  The fear of rejection is ultimately about a story.  If someone says “no” or “I’m not interested” then people tend to take that personally.  They create a story in their head that suggests they’re not liked, not good enough, not worthy of it.  The “rejection story” is the second powerful force that stops many from taking action.
  3. The fear of the unknown.  Everyone likes security.  Our egos crave it.  When we don’t know what the future holds – when circumstances are uncertain – the natural tendency is to avoid it until we can see it.   This has the impact of stopping people from sharing their greatest gifts with the world.

How To Overcome These 3 Powerful Fears

The antidote to the fear of looking bad is shifting from self to service.  We can’t possibly be concerned about how we might look if we’re completely focused on serving.  The next time you feel fear around looking foolish or embarrassing yourself, remind yourself what your intentions are.

If it’s a prospecting call, then remind yourself of your value proposition and how that will serve your prospect; if it’s public speaking, put yourself in the shoes of your audience and ask yourself what they hope to learn, and then serve them by sharing exactly what they want.

Remove focus on self and shift to serving and your fear will dissipate and eventually evaporate.

Overcoming the fear of rejection occurs when you can write a powerful new story, or simply detach all meaning from outcome.  If you’re making a prospecting call and are paralyzed by “what if they say no?” then you’re stuck in the story of being personally rejected.

Rewrite the story: “If they say no they’re not rejecting me; they’re rejecting my product or service – and this is just temporary.”

Another great story you could create is: “If they say no, then I know I’ll have been spared from a situation that would have been painful.  Thank goodness.”  Rewrite the story into one that empowers you. And then, eventually, you’ll detach from outcome altogether.

Finally, overcome the fear of the unknown by testing not trusting.  People will often give advice and say “just trust that it will work out.” You don’t need to trust anything.  Test it.  See what happens.  If you don’t like the results, then try something new.

This is a powerful shift because now you have unlimited choices.  If something you do isn’t effective, you can change your approach and re-test.  Whereas if you had to trust, then failure destroys your confidence.  Remind yourself that this is just an experiment, and that your task is to collect data from the results and nothing more.

An Important Distinction

When I say don’t give a f*ck, I mean to take action despite fear.  I do NOT mean to not care.  Quite the opposite actually.  When you act, act from a place of service.  This ensures that the people you interact with feel your warmth, get what you’re committed to, and understand your purpose.

The greatest gift you can bring to the world is to act despite fear; by doing so you give others around you permission to stand up, to express themselves, to bring the world their gifts.

And the truth is, your willingness to act despite fear is a barometer for your commitment.

Here’s another way to look at it: will you meander in mediocrity for the rest of your life, or will you achieve all of your goals and dreams because you didn’t give a f*ck?

The choice is yours.

If you’ve been paralyzed by fear or are just plain tired of not being your most powerful self because you’re too damn concerned about what others think, I can help you.

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